You had an affair.
She doesn’t know, yet.
Now what?
Whether you are still having the affair or it has ended, come talk to us before you do anything else.
You will get the best shot possible for saving your relationship.
What you do next
makes a big difference.
It Happens
You are not alone. Millions across the world are having an affair right now. But when she finds out, you will be alone. She will react. She will be upset. She will want to end the relationship. You may not realize how much you want her until she walks away.
We can help.
The Hard Dialogue
When you tell her, she will eventually ask you this basic question: Do you still want to be together and why?
Most men will answer with some version of, “of course, I do, because I love you.” But your actions have been quietly screaming something else.
Get prepared.
The Real Reasons
Many men don’t know how to have tough conversations with their partners. When they don’t know what they need emotionally and walking away looks like quitting, it’s no surprise that many men make the poor choice of having an affair before ending the relationship first.
Take back control.
Schedule a Private Consultation
We offer a limited number of slots each week for new clients. Secure your spot in advance.
The
ABSOLUTE
WORST
Choice
You Can
Make
One of the most damaging things you can do is letting her finding out before you tell her.
She can deal with the affair. Many couples overcome it. The lies and deceit, however, make it unbearable. In nearly all situations, you are better off being the one who discloses it, letting you keep as much control as you can in the situation.
Perhaps you are right that she won’t find out. But here’s her reality: whatever you build together after the affair will feel like a lie to her. In other words, the more you wait, the greater her sense of betrayal.
And here’s the part you may not appreciate: the fact that she hasn’t found out may be showing you how much she trusts and adores you. You might think you are smarter than her, but once she finds out, you will have broken the heart of someone who loved, adored and trusted you. It takes a long time for both people to recover from that.
Can you really afford to wait?
Don’t Let the
Relationship’s
“Trust Account”
Get to Zero.
Think of the trust in your relationship like the balance in a bank account.
Trust naturally grows with time. But, when things don't add up and she still gives you the benefit of the doubt, you are spending the trust she built up in that account.
Telling her yourself stops the withdrawals because you chose to tell her the truth while you still had the choice.
If she discovers it herself, the entire account will be wiped out, not just because of the affair, but because she can no longer trust you, the account or anything that was in it.
The sooner you deal with the issues, the better the chance you have of preserving the trust that remains in the relationship.
Take the first step.
The affair damages
her trust in you.
Discovering the affair damages
her ability to know what to trust,
undermining the whole relationship.
About Me
After more than twenty years as a litigation attorney, I have had my fair share of high-stakes courtroom battles. Over those twenty years, I also realized that it was far easier to hire expensive lawyers to fight each other than it was for people to sit down and have open and honest dialogues with one another.
That journey brought me to the place of trading in my boxing gloves for an arm-chair to help couples and families in high-stakes conflict. Years of litigation training, combined with my personal curiosity of people and relationships, enable me to slice through the stories to see the facts as they are, without bias and without judgment, to figure out how to move forward.
It is that dedication that I bring to each and every client engagement.
I am based in Los Angeles, California.
